


Make Me Choke (On Your Cocksuredness)

by darknessandrageandkittens



Series: baby SOMEBODY'S a wreck [2]
Category: Scrubs (TV)
Genre: Daddy Kink, F/M, Femdom, M/M, Men Get Pegged, Multi, Pineapple Smoothies, frequent and varying usage of the word bitch, look i'm gonna level with you it's straight up genuinely just a bunch of arguing then porn, u thought it was just gonna be sex but SWERVE THERE'S EMOTIONS TOO BABES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 00:01:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18434852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darknessandrageandkittens/pseuds/darknessandrageandkittens
Summary: Wikipedia defines the term bitch as “a pejorative slang word for a person—usually a woman—who is belligerent, unreasonable, malicious, a control freak, rudely intrusive or aggressive. “ However, it also further explains that “When applied to a man, bitch is a derogatory term for a subordinate.” The dictionary also calls it a “difficult or unpleasant situation or thing.” These applied slightly more directly. And finally, the dictionary states bitch as a verb, or “too complain.”Jordan Sullivan, a bitch, has just discovered Percival Cox, her bitch, has finally fucked the other doctor always following him around like a little bitch. Perry bitches about this frequently. Now Jordan’s bitch has a bitch, and that might make him a little big for his britches. All of this adds up to Perry Cox having a bitchin’ migraine.





	Make Me Choke (On Your Cocksuredness)

JD really wasn’t sure how he got here. Pressed up close to his mentor in a supply closet on a less busy wing of the hospital, squirming and grinding against him. He wasn’t positive what choices had led to this snapshot of life. But he sure as hell wasn’t gonna lose.

“Come on, kid,” Perry groaned, “Just let it go and end it. Promise I’ll still respect ya in the morning.”

“Ha! Nice try,” JD choked out, “But you won’t even respect me during.”

“You say that like it’s not a huge turn on for you.”

“Give it up, Perry,” a snarl bit off into his throat, “Just admit it so we can finally get this over with.”

“Hell no.”

JD stiffened.

“Fine, then,” he detached himself, ignoring the angry whine. “We have no further business here. Have fun jerking off in the closet. Shouldn’t be too hard for you. Plenty of closet experience.”

Brushing down his scrubs, he turned and left his partner growling at the empty space behind.

“I swear to dead God,” Perry grit out, “I am going to murder Jordan for this.”

-

Wikipedia defines the term bitch as “a pejorative slang word for a person—usually a woman—who is belligerent, unreasonable, malicious, a control freak, rudely intrusive or aggressive. “ However, it also further explains that “When applied to a man, bitch is a derogatory term for a subordinate.” The dictionary explains it as “a female dog, wolf, fox, or otter.” Jordan was none of those four things. The dictionary also calls it a “difficult or unpleasant situation or thing.” These applied slightly more directly. And finally, the dictionary states bitch as a verb, or “too complain.”

This knowledge is relevant for the understanding of the power dynamic at play here.

Jordan Sullivan, a bitch, has just discovered Percival Cox, her bitch, has finally fucked the other doctor always following him around like a little bitch. Perry bitches about this frequently. Now Jordan’s bitch has a bitch, and that might make him a little big for his britches. As one tragic cowboy put it, for Jordan, this is a bitch of an unsatisfactory situation. And as one Winona Ryder put it, Jordan is, to turn a phrase, a mythic bitch. Which is why she is adding adverbs to the situation, and throwing what some might call a bitch-fit. All of this adds up to Perry Cox having a bitchin’ migraine.

“Jordan,” he tried patiently, “Sweetie. Sugar. Darling. Angel-face.”

Jordan glared.

“You. Were the one. Who said I should fuck him and get it out of my system!”

“As a JOKE, Perry! You know I don’t like it when you fuck other men and I’m not there to watch! We have a deal! It was in our marriage contract! No gay sex without the other person present!”

“He doesn’t count!”

“He has a penis! His pronouns are he/him! He counts!”

“Technically speaking-”

“Oh great, more technically speaking-”

“TECHNICALLY speaking! It was bi sex.”

Somewhere a distant fire alarm bell rang.

“Technically speaking, you don’t NEED your dick to survive!”

“I called him a girl the entire time!”

“I missed out on you finally plowing that ridiculous twink, and it was KINKY, and I MISSED it!”

“I don’t understand why you’re upset! I was the one who insisted on the voyeurism rule in the first place!”

“What, you can be into hot lesbian action but I can’t wanna watch when you’re making sweet tender love to some romanticized intern piece of ass?”

“How DARE you call it love-making! I’ve never made love to anyone in my life and you know it!”

“Tell me this, Perry. If you took your shirt off right now. Would your back be a bloody mess?”

“No, he files his nails down.”

“It was TENDER!”

“I called him a bitch the whole time!”

“So what? That’s OUR thing too!”

“He was crying for most of it!”

“Like a virginal bride. I am disgusted.”

“He was crying because I was choking him!”

“So he can’t speak now?”

“Come on Jordan, I didn’t wanna break the kid-”

“TENDER. And I MISSED it!”

“It was a spur of the moment thing! I couldn’t be all ‘Heya, Sport, love the cut of your jib, but you wanna wait a few hours for my ex-wife to get home?’ His hand was already down my pants!”

Jordan pouted.

“You just want to keep him to yourself.”

Perry groaned as she crossed her arms and looked away.

“Jordan, honey, come on, you know it’s not that-”

“You have a bitch of your own now, and you don’t want to share because Perry has to be the center of everyone’s world.”

“Jordan! We’re not even married anymore, the contract doesn’t hold!” 

“No. I understand. You wanna go on having your little secret gay trysts.”

“It happened 3 hours ago and I told you as soon as you came home! He’s literally still asleep in our bedroom, which is why, for the FINAL time, would you PLEASE keep it down!”

Jordan scowled.

“There will be a reckoning for this.”

Perry groaned and flopped himself onto the couch, burying his face in his hands.

“I know.”

“I’m gonna fuck the little blonde stick, and you’re not going to get to see SHIT.”

“Please,” Perry snapped, tossing his hands up in the air. “Please feel free to seduce Blondie. Because if SHE’S your vengeance fuck, let me tell you, that’s nothing I ever want to see anyway!”

“A RECKONING, Perry!”

A jaw-cracking yawn ended the argument. Their heads swiveled to stare at a thoroughly mussed JD, frowning tiredly and rubbing at his tangled mess of hair. Perry smirked inwardly. It had taken a dog’s age to rub all the damn gel out. Jordan raised an eyebrow and his smirk vanished. 

“Hey guys,” JD mumbled, “Are you gonna kill each other, or.”

“Not this time, newbie.”

“I’m not making those kinds of promises.”

JD nodded, face bleary with exhaustion.

“Hey Jordan. Sorry I fucked your not-husband.”

“He’s a seductive bastard. I can’t blame you at all.”

“So you’re not mad at me?”

“Did you think I would be?”

“Nah, cause, like. It was his turn. But. I dunno. Maybe?”

Jordan grinned.

“Oh I’m not mad at you, sweetie. Not your fault you couldn’t keep your skirt below the knee. No, I’m mad, because our beloved Percival here has apparently neglected to mention the voyeurism clause.”

JD frowned.

“You mean the gay sex thing? He said it didn’t count anymore because you’re divorced.”

The fire alarm bells grew louder, as did the tormented screams of the damned in what was apparently Perry’s own personal private version of hell. 

“Oh, really? He said that?”

“Yeah, cause I wanted to wait and ask you if it was like. Cool to bang, and he said you wouldn’t mind because you banged a dude on your honeymoon.”

Jordan glared at her ex husband.

“This is all revenge for our HONEYMOON?”

Perry grinned, hands resting on the back of his head and nodded.

“Oh you better believe it, baby.”

JD squawked.

“You said you wanted me all to yourself!”

“Well, I lied. It was an elaborate ruse.”

All the oxygen was sucked out of the room, which was the only thing that prevented him from spontaneously combusting under the heat of their gaze.

“JD,” Jordan whispered sweetly, “Perry’s grounded.”

“What?”

“Perry. Is. Grounded. No sex. Not from me.” Her gaze shifted to JD, who turned into a giant melting wax statue. “And definitely not from you.”

“But-”

“No buts. And no butts. If you let him so much as eye-fuck you, there will be a reckoning.”

“You say that a lot,” JD whispered, terrified.

“And I always mean it.”

-

It had been four days since the sex ban, and Perry was somewhere between relieved and annoyed.

A certain side effect of being terrified meant JD had stopped stalking him at work altogether, lest he accidentally trip and fall into him tongue first. Which made him relieved. It also meant, however, that he couldn’t bully, cajole, or otherwise harass his favorite serf. And a lonely lord of the ward, was he. Growling, he stopped at the nurses’ station.

“Carla,” he bit out, “how up to date on the situation are you.”

“Everything Bambi doesn’t tell me he tells his diary, so. Nauseatingly up to date.”

“Don’t front, it’s okay to be a little jealous. No one blames you for regretting not getting all this.”

“Was it uncomfortable, having Property of Jordan branded on your balls?”

“Unbelievably, but the aftercare? Sooo worth it.”

Carla wrinkled her nose.

“I was joking.”

“So was I. Now. Newbie. Where?”

“Nuh-uh, I LIKE Bambi, I don’t want your she demon ex to eat his heart in the marketplace.”

“Shakespeare, nice. A classical element to our witty repartee. Come on now, Beatrice, where lies the fair Hero?”

“Lies to me everywhere, Benedickhead.”

“Ouch.”

“The sting will wear off. Now go do your actual job. You’re a doctor.”

Growling, Perry left.

JD popped up from behind the counter.

“You read my diary?”

“You shave your legs with my shaving cream?”

JD flushed, trying to look haughty.

“I like the smoothness.”

“It’s dollar store shaving cream. Get your own. Now! You! Doctor! Job to do!” 

JD saluted and vaulted over the counter to run down the hallway in the opposite direction of Perry.

Carla sighed.

“Sanganos.”

-

JD spat the frothed up toothpaste into the sink and rinsed. He was ready for a stress free evening.

Turk and Carla were out to dinner, ABC was hosting a Disney marathon, he had on his comfiest pjs and hot chocolate was cooling on the stove. Relaxation, prepare to be made his BITCH.

Relaxation, as a concept, did not like to be referred to as a bitch, and found such wording demeaning. Which is probably why this is when JD’s phone began to ring. Diving onto the couch in what would doubtless look very cool if anyone was actually around to watch, he clicked open the line.

“Hello?”

“Hey, newbie.”

JD froze.

“Doctor Cox?”

“In the voice!”

“I’m gonna hang up now. You’re still grounded.”

“Wait! Stop! No, Patricia, don’t you TOUCH that end call button!”

JD bit his lip.

“I dunno, Jordan’s scary.”

“I figured it out.”

“What?”

“I figured out a loophole.”

Something warm started to twist in JD’s stomach.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah,” Perry purred.

“What’s that?”

“She said,” there was a sound of shifting, like he was settling into his bed, “That you and I couldn’t physically have sex.”

“OR eye-fuck!”

“Or eye-fuck,” Perry conceded, “Whatever that means. But she didn’t say anything about verbally having sex.”

A hot jolt licked at his spine.

“Are you serious?” He hissed.

“As lupus, kid.”

JD snorted.

“You sound like House.”

“Oh you like that? Try this on for size. Shut up, Wilson.”

“Dead on. Very impressive. I’m not having phone sex with you.”

Perry whined.

“Why not? It’s within the parameters of her rules! If anything, it’s guided masturbation!”

“If you want phone sex, call a service line.”

“I know a few lines that’ll get me serviced.”

JD stopped breathing for a moment before exploding into laughter.

“Oh my God.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh my God.”

“Aren’t you agnostic?”

“That was the corniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life, and I spent college rooming with TURK.”

“I’m going insane here! It’s turning my well honed charisma into cheese! Help me out?”

“That’s even worse!”

“JD, please. I miss you.”

JD paused again.

“You missed me?”

“So much I just called you by your actual name.”

“So. I’m not just a revenge fuck?”

“JD, if I was gonna fuck someone to make Jordan mad on purpose, I would have fucked Carla.”

“Carla’s too good for you.”

“Exactly.”

JD started chewing on his lip again.

“So,” he ground out, “You really did? Want me all to yourself?”

Perry snorted.

“Come on, Suzy, I’m not that big a sap. It was just, you know. Convenient, for the first time.”

Icy rage filtered down the line and froze Perry’s room into an igloo.

“Uh. JD?”

“Convenient?”

“Fuck.”

“I don’t think so, Perry. Maybe try a different line.”

The click and dial tone left him angrier than he had been all week. Hornier, too.

“God dammit!”

There was a thud as Perry’s phone bounced off the wall and back onto the bed, nailing him in the ribs.

“Fuck!”

-

JD flinched when Jordan slammed her lunch tray down on the table next to him.

“Scatter, peanut gallery.”

Carla scowled.

“Excuse me?”

“Carla,” JD broke in, desperate, “Please just go.”

He frown deepened but she took her tray and her husband, who looked behind and mouthed a fervent ‘thank you’ to his friend.

‘Huh,’ Jordan thought. ‘So I still scare the bejeezus out of people. Nice.’

“Look,” JD started, “I haven’t so much as LOOKED at Perry-”

“Hush. We both know he inevitably figured out the phone sex clause, and judging by the bags under your eyes and the fact that you look like a stiff breeze could get you off, you turned him down.”

JD’s head sunk into his arms.

“I got so close to finally having closet sex and then he opened his mouth and ruined it.”

“That’s why I usually gag him.”

JD just groaned.

“It’s been what, three weeks? He’s been trying to get you in every possible corner he can, hasn’t he.”

“He paged me to the roof. There was a picnic, Jordan. And CANDLES.”

She nodded.

“I understand. But you were a good boy, and you didn’t give him any, right?”

“Right,” he muttered miserably.

“I’m going to be honest, DJ. You’re holding up better than ever expected. I thought you’d crack after 2 days, and then I’d get to flog you both. It was going to be fun for me. I had a special pedicure in preparation for making Perry lick my boots.”

JD whimpered.

“But,” she sighed, “you haven’t conceded. Somewhere under all that fluff, there apparently is a spine.”

“To be fair, if he’d just get over himself and admit he didn’t wanna share me, I’d have lost the bet like 30 minutes in. But he keeps being so stubborn about it!”

Her eyes narrowed.

“Point taken, but allowed. He’s a stubborn jackass. You want something from him, you gotta break him first.”

He frowned.

“I dunno, begging eventually pays off in bed-”

“God, you’re a pushy bottom. I’m horny and Stick started calling my pity sex a ‘relationship’, so it’s about time I called this off. Be at the apartment. 7.”

“I don’t get off till 8!”

“Be there at 7, or you won’t get off period.”

JD flushed.

“I’ll figure something out.”

“Good girl. Now leave, I’m gonna eat my sandwich and I don’t need you gawking at me the entire time.”

JD was gone before her sentence was over.

-

He was nervous, headed up to the door. Whatever Jordan had planned, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be a part of it. Clearing his throat, he knocked quietly, hoping it would be ignored so he could slink away.

“DOOR’S UNLOCKED, DUMBASS,” came the friendly shout. Gulping, JD pushed open and stepped inside. Jordan stared at him from the kitchen, head tilted, considering. She wore a tightly wrapped silk robe.

“Give me a slow spin, princess.”

“Why-”

“Do it and you get a treat.”

JD twirled slowly, painfully aware of her eyes on him the entire time.

“Hmm. Yeah. This is gonna be good. Alright get over here.”

JD scampered to the island.

“Here. Drink up.”

She handed him a smoothie. Perking up, he started sipping at it carefully. Mmmm, pineapple.

“There ya go. Don’t swallow too fast, you’ll get a brain freeze.”

JD nodded around the straw, giving a thumbs up.

“Perry isn’t home.”

He stopped swallowing and opened his mouth.

“Mouth closed.”

He closed it.

“If I know him at all, and I do, he’s at the gay bar down the street with his shirt off hustling free drinks and as much attention as he isn’t getting at home.”

JD’s eyes boggled.

“He goes there every weekend. He’s a regular. Apparently getting hot strangers to fawn over him in a dimly lit nightclub covered in glitter is his idea of a good time. I would agree, but that’s just a normal day for me.”

JD rolled his eyes.

“Strike one. Anyway, he won’t be home for at least an hour, which means we have plenty of time.”

He cocked his head over his shoulder.

“Adorable. You’re like a puppy. Finish up the smoothie and get your ass to the bathroom, then you’ll find out.”

JD sucked harder, fighting the wince at the sudden pain.

“I told you to be careful moron.”

“Why am I even here?”

“Easy,” Jordan stated, loosening the tie on her robe, “It’s my turn. Only fair, right?”

The robe slunk onto the floor as JD tried desperately not to choke on the smoothie. She was completely naked except for the harness strapped around her waist. An impressively sized dildo wiggled playfully.

“Yeah,” he choked, “Right.”

Jordan smirked.

-

Perry groaned into his third shot in as many minutes.

He had been dancing for over an hour, trying to wring as much adoration as he could out of the crowd without actually getting laid. Jordan was going to cave soon, he could sense it.

“Per, you might wanna slow down, bud!”

His glare sliced sideways into the sparkling drag queen beside him.

“Anita, I value your advice in everything except my love life. Contour? Go for it. Good ways to shut up a 2 year old? I’m all ears. But my drinking is a no-no.”

To his dismay, she snorted then stole his final shot.

“Go home, you big wuss. Cry long enough and she might even toss you a handjob.”

“I hate that you are so intimately acquainted with my life.”

A perfectly painted smile spread across her face.

“One of these days, honey, I’m gonna get you in a dress.”

“You sound like my ex wife.”

“Scram. Everyone here’s picked up on the fact that you’re a look don’t touch show for tonight, so you’re all out of crowd magic anyway.”

Sulking, Perry slid off the bar stool.

“I like this place. I don’t have to wear a shirt here.”

“Baby if there were any justice in the world, you wouldn’t have to wear a shirt anywhere. Now go home.”

“I don’t wanna go home. She stole the only thing left that brought me joy.”

She snorted.

“Never store your joy in a twink, Perry. Save it for your porn. Home. Go.”

Grumbling, Perry made his way through the crowd and began the slow walk up the street. By the time he walked up to his apartment building, most of the buzz had faded into a warmth in his veins. Jangling his keys aggressively as a form of bitter warning, he walked in. The living room was dark. He walked into the kitchen to grab water, unwilling to argue before bed drunk. He paused. The blender was used, and the remnants of a pineapple smoothie clung to the sides.

“She has a guy over. Of course. Of course she does. Can’t sleep with me, no, that’d be letting me win- JORDAN.” He stomped over to his bedroom, nostrils flaring. “JORDAN, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. Tell whatever pathetic twerp you’ve got in here to get o-”

He stopped, staring.

“Wh. What?”

“Welcome home, Perry,” Jordan purred. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

-

JD wasn’t sure how he got here. Pressed face down into the mattress while his lover’s lover railed him with a fake dick. It didn’t feel fake. Then again, neither did her breasts.

“I said you couldn’t fuck around with Perry. I never took myself off the table.”

“Am I allowed to say no? I feel like I’m not really allowed to say no, here.”

A shrug.

“Yeah, you can say no. But why would you?”

She had made an incredibly valid point.

“It’s bigger than his, you know. I’m gonna reach places he couldn’t even touch. You’re gonna feel it for weeks.”

JD bit off a whimper into the sheets, sweat straining out of him as he did his best to keep still when all he wanted to do was move backwards, take her deeper, show her he COULD take it deeper, do better, be the best.

“God, it really is the insecure ones that make for the best fuck, isn’t it?”

I’m not insecure, he wanted to say, I know I’m good at this, but suddenly her hand was shoving his head down further into the mattress and he could barely breathe, much less speak.

“I’m talking about Perry.”

He didn’t do or say anything. She didn’t want him to, anyway. He went back to focusing on the thick silicone dick rubbing up against his prostate. God, he needed to get off soon. She would let him, right? She. She would probably let him.

“DJ, if you even think about ruining these sheets until Perry gets here, I actually will flog you.”

JD wasn’t sure if he wanted that or not, but now wasn’t the time to decide. He tried to think about whatever the opposite of getting pegged by a hot lady would feel like.

Pegging an ugly man?

God no, bad choice of thought, unthink Kelso in drag, UNTHINK Kelso in drag-

The door cracked open. Perry was home, staring.

“Welcome home, Perry,” Jordan purred, “We’ve been waiting for you. Have a good time at the club?”

Perry made a strangled noise that might have been an assent in an alien language and might have been an attempt to swallow his tongue.

“Good. I got bored, so I brought DJ here to keep me company. That all right with you?”

Perry nodded, then stepped forward, unbelieving. JD rolled his eyes up to meet his, trying not to be swallowed down by the sheer hunger. His hand reached out, going to touch his hair, when Jordan slapped it away. Perry growled.

“Nuh-uh. You’re still grounded.”

“Jordan.”

“Percival.”

“Jordan.”

“He’s mine right now. Which means you get to go sit in your chair, on your hands, and watch.”

“It’s been nearly 3 weeks.”

“Then you can last another couple of minutes, can’t you.”

Perry whined.

“If you even think about taking your dick out, you won’t touch him for another month.”

Half snarling, half pouting, he sat on his hands in his chair and stared. JD flushed even redder under the scrutinizing attention. Apparently all he needed to do to be the center of focus was get pegged. He could live with that.

“I think he likes having you watch.”

“Of course he does. He’s an attention whore.”

JD winced.

“Now, now, Perry, don’t be mean. He’s just a regular whore, aren’t you baby?”

She thrust into him harder, until he was keening.

“Come on, princess, say it.”

“C. Ca. Can’t. Talk.”

“Oh? You need me to slow down?”

JD froze, unsure if that was what he wanted.

“Hey. Answer.”

“Y. Nn. No?”

Jordan laughed, but slowed down anyways.

“This is why I’m in charge. You two have no idea what you need.”

“I know what I need,” Perry growled, eyes not moving.

“You’ll get what you get when you get it. Now I think I was waiting to hear something.”

“Sorry,” JD gasped.

“Don’t say sorry, say you’re a whore.”

“ ‘M. Mmmmmm. ‘M a whore.”

“Good girl. Whose whore?”

“Y. Yours?”

“Damn right. Which means if I were to graciously allow the sadsack drooling in the corner to have his chance, who should you both be grateful to?”

“You. V. Very grateful, to you.”

“You’re just acing this test, sweetie. Right answers across the board, no wonder Perry likes you. He likes the smart ones.”

JD buried his face into the mattress, blushing redder than he thought possible.

“Someone’s got a praise kink. Alright. Tell you what, honey, you’ve been good all night. Just the best.”

“Thanks.”

She slapped his thigh lightly.

“I’m talking, you’re listening. So. If you can manage not to come in the next 5 minutes, I’ll let you fuck me again.”

JD’s balls tightened.

“If not, well. You’re not fucking anyone tonight.”

He nodded furiously, face rubbing against the sheets.

“Good. One more thing, forgot to mention.” She paused and JD heard a faint click. “This thing has a vibrating option.”

JD screamed, orgasm ripping through him.

Perry nearly bit through his lip.

Jordan laughed.

“Well, looks like I win that bet.”

JD whimpered, over stimulated as she kept rocking gently against him. 

“Please,” he whispered, “too much.”

“You need a break?”

“Please.”

“Fine.”

She pulled out and rolled over beside him. Perry started to rise, only for her to point a stern finger.

“Stay.”

“But!”

“STAY.”

He sat back down, though he was reluctant to put his hands back beneath him.

“Sweetheart.”

JD rose his eyes to look at her, tired.

“You get me off, and you can play with Perry all you want.”

JD nodded and rolled between her legs.

“This good?”

“This great, if you know what you’re doing.”

“I do.”

“Let’s see.”

He sucked hard on her clit, fingers rubbing gently, then lapped at her some before sucking again.

“I’m not a man, don’t be afraid of teeth.”

JD huffed a small laugh and got back to work.

“Perry,” Jordan moaned, “I think he might give better head than you.”

“I know,” he sulked, “It basically the one thing his mouth is any good for.”

JD stopped to glare at him, only for Jordan to thread her fingers in his hair and draw him back to her.

“Don’t listen to mean old Doctor Cox, baby, he’s just mad cause now you know what a proper fucking feels like and he’s scared you won’t want him any more.”

JD silently decided to give her the best oral he could, just to spite him. Jordan certainly wasn’t complaining, as she came a few minutes later, smearing his face with liquid as she ground down hard onto him.

“See, Perry? We can have fun with both of us. Don’t gotta hide him away like a secret.”

Perry sighed.

“Again, I told you as soon as you got home.”

“But you didn’t show me, did ya?”

“Let me up and I’ll show you now.”

Jordan hummed.

“How bout it, my sweet little slut? You want Perry to have a turn?”

JD licked his chin, face glistening obscenely.

“Only if you want him to.”

“Fast learner. Alright, Per, you can have some sloppy seconds.”

She scooted to the edge of the bed, staying on her side to watch. Winking, she reached out and took one of JD’s hands. ‘You’re welcome,’ she mouthed. ‘Thanks,’ he mouthed back, tired and overstimulated and still somehow extremely excited. Perry crawled up on the bed next to him, slow, hesitant, and just looked for a moment.

“Jesus, are you gonna fuck this kid or what?”

“Gonna fuck the life out of him, but please shut up for a minute so i can appreciate being able to play with my toy for the first time in three weeks.”

Jordan snorted.

“We live in the same house, I know how often your toy gets played with.”

Perry groaned and let his forehead fall on JD’s shoulder.

“Jordan I’m trying to have a moment.”

“And I am improving it, with my fantastic sense of humor.”

He glared. She grinned sweetly. Sighing, he let his eyes return to the dazed man underneath him.

“You need anything? Water, maybe, more lube?”

He shook his head, smiling tiredly. 

“I’m good, Daddy.”

“Oh, that’s new.”

“Jordan?”

“Shutting up.”

“Thank God.”

JD laughed, quiet and spaced out from the orgasm.

“You good for more, sweetheart? Not too overstimulated?”

JD smiled.

“Feel good.”

Perry laughed.

“Trust me, I know. She’s pretty good at that.”

“Y e a h.”

“You’re not gonna fall asleep on me, are you? Because that’s not really a kink I wanna explore tonight.”

“Doctor Cox.”

“Jackie-Lynn.”

“Could you pretty please with sugar on top just fuck me already?”

Jordan laughed, loud and long, curled up slightly.

“Well,” Perry responded dryly, “Since it’s with sugar on top.”

He pulled his leg up around his hip and guided himself in slowly.

“Still good?”

“Perry,” Jordan cut in, “Not that it isn’t cute watching you try to be soft with someone, but I literally just rode the hell out of him. I’d be surprised if he can even feel you right now. So get over yourself and fuck him already.”

“I can feel him,” JD mumbled, “Can definitely feel him.”

Perry grinned. 

“Good. Then you’ll feel this.”

Slamming forward, he started fucking into him hard and fast, like someone who hadn’t been able to fuck their newest partner for nearly a month then got surprised with sex after a short bar crawl. Or something similar to that, one would imagine. Jordan’s eyes glowed as she watched him sink into JD, no hint of intrusion or resistance left in him. JD, for what it was worth, simply laid back and took it, too tired to put up any sort of fight. The only thing he could do was moan. So he did.

“God, she wasn’t kidding about the sloppy seconds part, was she kid. How long were you two going at it, huh?”

JD only groaned louder.

“Must’ve been about 40 minutes before you got home.”

“This one held out that long? I have a hard time believing it.”

“Who said that was his first orgasm of the night?”

JD pouted, aware that they were talking about him but only vaguely coherent enough to do anything about it.

“Aw, look at that sulky little lip. I’m gonna kiss him.”

“Of course you only kiss him after you fuck his spine loose.”

JD didn’t say anything, because Jordan’s tongue was licking sweetly into his mouth, suckling gently and nipping around his lips. JD gave back as best as he could, considering he was getting pounded for the second time in as many hours.

“Doing good, baby. Taking it like a champ.”

“He really is. Feels good. Feels. Real fuckin’ good.”

“Seriously? Already?”

“Lucky I lasted that long. He really is a perfect little whore. Hear that, baby? Perfect for me. Doing so good.”

JD nodded absently, clenching down around his dick. Jerking, Perry thrust a few more times before coming with a sharp gasp. JD wrapped a hand around his own and pulled a few times, whimpering, before Jordan replaced his hand with her own.

“Hey guys?”

“What’s up.”

“This is. Probably the hottest thing to ever happen to me.”

“Probably? Only probably? What the fuck kind of weekends have you been having without me?”

“You know us nerds and our wild parties…”

Perry laughed.

“I’m gonna go get a rag to wipe up this mess. Don’t move. Jordan, watch him.”

“My hand is literally on his dick right now, where would I go? Jackass.”

“Bitch!”

“I hate you and I’m going to steal him away and kill you in your sleep!” she called after him as he walked into the bathroom.

“Careful, honey, I’m not ready for round two yet!”

JD laughed and rolled his head over to lean against Jordan’s shoulder.

“I really like him,” he whispered.

“Me too,” she whispered back. “Don’t tell.”

“I won’t,” he giggled.

“Wanna know a secret?”

He nodded sleepily.

“I think he needs someone to be nice to him sometimes.”

JD frowned, confused.

“Everybody needs that.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I know. But I’m no good at it.”

“I thought what we just did was very nice.”

She tweaked his ear.

“It was. You saying you’re gonna be nice to me from now on?”

He nodded, yawning.

“I’ll be nice to you AND I’ll be nice to him. We’ll all be nice to each other.”

“We’re not good at nice. It scares me, a little, seeing him be nice with someone. Because he might like it more than he likes me. He tried to keep you to himself. He doesn’t usually do that.”

“Maybe,” his jaw cracked on his second yawn, “Maybe he thought the same about you.”

Jordan hummed.

“Alright, are you gonna get off again or not, because my wrist is cramping.”

“No, I’m all fucked out. Want me to get you off again?”

“Nah, go to sleep.”

He nodded, eyes slipping closed.

“He’s not wrong, you know.”

She looked up at her former husband, leaning against the doorway.

“I was worried. I can admit that now. I’m not like how I am with you around him.”

“Don’t know if you noticed, Per, but neither am I.”

“I know! He’s not even bleeding!”

“I’m getting soft.”

“Me too,” he sighed, “but he makes me feel like it’s not a big deal.”

Jordan looked at him.

“I was worried you might like soft better.”

Perry crawled up the mattress to her, dumping the rag on JD’s snoring chest before pulling her into his arms.

“Jordan. You are a cold, ruthless bitch with very few morals and the instincts of a shark.”

“Gee, thanks, Perry.”

“And I love you. I know it’s. Gross to talk about. But I do. I love you, and I’m always going to. I love how hard you are. But. I think I like how soft he is too.”

Jordan squeezed his arms.

“I can tell. But Perry? I like it too. He said thank you when I took off my robe. Genuinely, thanked me for letting him see me naked. It was sweet. He’s sweet. We’re not sweet.” 

Perry shook his head.

“No, we’re not. We’re spicy. Hot and delicious. So. Keeping him?”

Jordan grinned and pulled him down for a kiss.

“Keeping him. As long as you remember to feed him and take him for walks.”

The laughter rumbled out of his chest and into hers.

“Guys,” JD chimed in, exhausted. “I’m super glad you figured it out and had your moment and stuff, but can someone at least roll me out of the wet spot? I can’t move.” 

Perry nudged him over a bit.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, newbie.”

He was already snoring again.

“So,” Jordan said brightly, “same time next week?”

Perry groaned and fell back onto the bed.

“Try next month.”

“Old man.”

“Hag.”

“Bitch.”

“Bitch.”

He grinned.

-

JD really wasn’t sure how he got here. Pressed between Jordan and Perry, both sleeping soundly and trying to wrap themselves around him. But he wasn’t going to question it, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to regret it.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for 7 hours instead of eating idk man men get pegged
> 
> comments and kudos are both. just. super great


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